Out of Place

Men Need to Be Men Again

• AP&M Group • Episode 45

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In this unfiltered, brutally honest, and surprisingly heartfelt episode of Out of Place, Steven Daniel breaks down what’s happening to men today — and why so many are struggling to become the strong, grounded, confident leaders they were meant to be.

From simping culture and society’s war on masculinity, to the absence of father figures and the collapse of standards in modern relationships, this episode explores the core reasons men feel lost… and how they can reclaim their purpose.

This isn’t a macho rant.
This isn’t “alpha male” cosplay.
This is a wake-up call.

Steven dives into the traits of real masculinity — emotional stability, discipline, purpose, responsibility, leadership, boundaries, strength, and love — and delivers a message every man needs to hear:

You matter. You are needed. And the world is better when you rise to your full potential.

If you’re a man searching for direction, a partner trying to understand masculinity, or a parent raising boys in a confused world, this episode is for you.

🎙️ Out of Place presents: “Men Need to Be Men Again.”
Strong. Grounded. Honest.

Learn More About the Show: https://algidproductions.com/out-of-place-podcast

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00:00:00 Speaker: men, we need to talk. Because I don't know what's happening out there, but men, fellas, a lot of y'all have completely forgotten how to be men. I'm looking around, seeing dudes who look like grown adults on paper. But the moment life hits them with one inconvenience. One, They crumble like a dollar tree napkin. We got men who are scared of confrontation. Men who shut down during stress. Men who can't make decisions without texting someone for approval. Men who don't know how to fix anything. Not a tire, not a loose hinge. Not even their own messes. And look, I'm not saying every man has to walk around like a lumberjack chopping trees with his forehead. But damn, some of y'all are out there acting like Chihuahuas in human skin. Shaking. Nervous. Scared to talk. Scared to lead. Scared to stand up for yourselves. Scared to set boundaries. Scared to make a plan. Scared to say what you want. Scared to raise your kids. Scared to be fathers. Scared to work. Scared to try. Scared to fail. We've created a whole generation of men where the moment pressure hits, they fold like a cheap Walmart lawn chair. And you know what, I get it. Society's been beaten. The idea of masculinity like it owes them child support. You know what? I get it. Society has beaten the idea of masculinity like it owes child support. Everything is toxic. Every male behavior is problematic. and God forbid you show confidence. Now you're. Intimidating. So what do a lot of men do? They retreat. They shut down. They play small. They become passive. They throw away their voice, their backbone, their purpose. And they call it being peaceful. No, brother, you're not peaceful. You're in hiding. That's not calm, that's avoidance. That's not balanced. That's fear. Wearing a hoodie. That's not keeping the peace. it's. I don't want anyone to be mad at me ever, because I can't handle conflict. the worst part. A lot of men don't even realize they're doing this. They think being agreeable is being kind. They think never speaking up is being respectful. They think letting their partners take the lead on everything is being supportive. no. that's how you lose yourself. That's how you lose respect. That's how you lose your drive. That's how you lose your masculinity. Men today are terrified of disappointing anyone except themselves. They wake up every day. And immediately betray their own potential. Because they'd rather be liked than be fulfilled. And you could see it. You could see it in their posture. You could see it in their eyes. You can hear it in their voice or lack of voice. You can see it in how they move through life, waiting for permission instead of stepping into purpose. We've got dudes who don't even know what they want Because they've spent their whole lives telling everyone what they think they want to hear and that out of places. That right there is the state of men today. Soft. Confused. Directionless. Overwhelmed. Under led and starving. Starving for something that feels like strength again. But here's the real twist. Most men aren't weak by nature. They're weak by conditioning. By how they were raised, By what society tells them they're allowed to be by the lack of fathers, by the lack of role models, by the lack of expectations, by the lack of accountability, by the lack of structure. Men aren't falling apart because they're incapable. Men are falling apart because nobody ever showed them how to stand up in the first place. And that's why today's episode needs to exist. Because the world needs men again. Real men, grounded men, steady men, leaders, protectors, providers, fathers, men with spines, voices, direction, purpose, and a moral compass that doesn't wobble every time feelings get involved. Let me tell you where a huge part of the problem comes from the missing father. Now, listen, I'm not talking about the dads who completely disappear. I'm talking about the men who are technically present, but emotionally on airplane mode. We got fathers who are in the same house as their kids, but might as well be ghosts. They're working. They're stressed. They're tired. They're checked out, they're scrolling TikTok. They're in their mancave. They're doing their best. And I get all that. But the kids still don't have a father. Because being physically there is not the same as being a parent. A lamp is physically there. A refrigerator is physically there. a TV remote is physically there. And you still lose it. Men hear me. Your presence doesn't count if your children can't feel you. a lot of these boys out here are soft because nobody pushed them. Nobody corrected them. Nobody disciplined them. Nobody taught them how to lose gracefully. Nobody taught them how to try again after failure. Nobody taught them that life doesn't hand out participation trophies. When I was growing up, if you cried because you didn't get your turn on the swings, that was your problem. Not everyone else's. Now we've got whole playgrounds. Rearranging the rules a little. Aiden didn't get his feelings hurt. And who's enforcing it at home? Men who don't want conflict. Men who don't want to be the bad guy. Men who think correcting their kid is mean. Men who want their kids to like them instead of respect them. Hey, retard. Your kids will have plenty of friends. They need a father. And then you have the other side. Homes where the father really is gone. And let's be honest, a lot of boys are learning how to be men from TikTok musicians, gamers, influencers and struggle streaming dudes No father, no guidance, no structure. And then we wonder why we have grown men who crumble at the first sign of adversity. Men are supposed to teach stability. Men are supposed to teach strength. Men are supposed to teach emotional control. Discipline, confidence, responsibility. But instead, we've got men who don't even know how to control their own emotions. Trying to raise kids who mirror their chaos. You want to know why boys don't handle pressure? Well? Because nobody teaches them pressure. Everything is padded. Everything is gentle. Everything is avoidant. And the moment the real world slaps them with the bill, a breakup, a deadline or responsibility, they panic. A boy growing up without a strong father becomes a man who doesn't know how to be one. And we're seeing it. We're seeing the ripple effects in relationships, in the dating world, in classrooms, in the workplace, everywhere. Men complaining about women being difficult, women complaining about men being weak. And the truth is, a lot of this started with boys not being raised. They were babysat, entertained, sheltered, overprotected, under led. Let me say something uncomfortable here. A mother can love a child unconditionally and that's beautiful. But a father teaches a child who they must become. A mother gives heart. A father gives the spine. And without both, the kid grows up lopsided. Men aren't just missing from homes. They're missing from themselves. They don't know what they stand for. They don't know what they believe in. They don't know what their responsibility is because nobody expected anything from them growing up. So now they don't expect anything from themselves as adults. Men. Your kids need you. Not your paycheck, not your presence in the room, not the exhausted nod you give them between work shifts. They need your leadership, your guidance, your calm voice, your strength, your emotional regulation, your structure, your standards. A boy without a father becomes a man without direction. A man without direction becomes a partner without stability, and a partner without stability. Becomes a father who repeats the cycle. This is where we break that. This is where we start calling men back to being men. Let's get into something unpopular to talk about the idea that masculinity is toxic. Because everywhere along the line, society decided that any male behavior and I mean anything, is a red flag. you're confident, intimidating, you're direct, aggressive, if you make decisions, controlling. If you show leadership. Toxic if you express emotion. Weak if you don't express emotion. Emotionally unavailable. Fellas, you can't win. You could be the most polite, stable, supportive man on earth, and someone out there is still going to call you a walking patriarchy. We've created a culture where men are terrified of being men. Not rude, not violent, not irresponsible. Just men. Everything masculine has been thrown into the same basket as the worst behavior imaginable. Confidence is toxic. Decisiveness is toxic. Protectiveness is toxic. Standards is toxic. Expectations is toxic. boundaries super toxic. Telling someone know or call the authorities. This man clearly hates women and puppies. So what do a lot of men do? They shrink. They dim the lights. They soften their voice. They try to be less threatening. They overexplain everything. They apologize for existing. They moved through the world hoping no one points to them and yells toxic! Because modern men have been conditioned to believe that any ounce of masculinity is dangerous unless you water it down to room temperature. Oatmeal. And here's the crazy part. The same society that tells men to be soft, emotionally open, passive, gentle, always agreeable. It's the same society that turns around and complains, where are all the real men? Well, I don't know. Ashley, maybe you shamed them out of existence. You can't beat men down for years. Tell them they're the problem. Tell them they need to be quieter, less confident, less assertive, less themselves, and then wonder why they're struggling. You can't tell men. Don't be leaders and then beg them for leadership. You can't tell men. Don't be protective and then complain. No one protects you. You can't tell men. Be masculine and Oppressive  and then wonder why men are depressed, lost, and checking out of relationships, careers and life. Masculinity is not toxic. Broken masculinity is toxic. Just like broken femininity is toxic. Just like anything unhealthy becomes toxic. But healthy masculinity, healthy masculinity is order. Direction. Strength. Stability. Protection. Sacrifice. Leadership. Integrity. Responsibility. It's the stuff that builds civilizations. It's the stuff that keeps communities safe. It's the stuff that raises strong children. It's the stuff that makes families thrive. And somehow we've convinced men that all those things are dangerous, which is insane. Completely backwards, because the world needs good men now more than ever. And we spent a decade telling them they're the enemy. Masculinity isn't the enemy. Weakness is. Confusion is. A lack of identity is. And society has made men feel ashamed of everything that makes them valuable. but listen, before we go any further, before I keep cooking this topic like a Sunday pot roast, I need to pay the bills because real men need real sponsors. So out of places. Let me slide into a quick break. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Step right up. Are you tired of the drama, the fuss, the fights that turn your marriage into a three ring circus? Well, don't you worry. Don't you fret because Stephen Daniels. Cut it out. Stop the drama. Fix the problems. Strengthen your marriage is here to save the day, the week, and the whole blessed union. That's right folks, this is into the pie in the sky advice. No, sir. This is bold on his face centered wisdom that cuts through the noise faster than a hot knife through butter. Marriage doesn't crumble from one big bang. It breaks from a thousand little cracks. Misunderstanding, frustration, conflicts left to simmer. But Stephen Daniels says. Cut it out. And he shows you how to patch it up, fix it right and build it strong from the inside out. inside these pages, you'll learn to communicate with clarity, kindness and purpose. No more mumbling, no more grumbling, no more talking past each other like ships in the night. You'll spot those toxic habits, toss them out of the window and replace them with habits that heal, habits that help, habits that make your marriage hum like a well-tuned saxophone Want Connection. Trust. Intimacy. You'll rebuild it. Brick by brick. Kiss by kiss. Prayer by prayer. Differences. You'll navigate them without tearing each other down. No more shouting matches. No more cold shoulders. Just real talk, real wisdom, real change boundaries. You'll set them with work, family, and that pesky social media that steals your time and joy. and best of all, you'll invite God back into the center of your marriage where he belongs, where he strengthens, where he blesses. So don't be a wallflower. Don't be a slowpoke. Don't let your marriage slip through your fingers like sand in the hourglass. Hustle down to Amazon.com. Type in. Cut it out. Stop the drama. Fix the problem, strengthen your marriage and grab your copy. Today. It's the bee's knees. It's the cat's pajamas. It's the whole enchilada. And it's waiting for you right now. Remember, folks, cut out the habits that hurt. Build the habits that heal and keep your marriage swinging, singing, and stronger than ever before. Steven Daniel's, Cut it Out. Real talk, real wisdom. Real change. All right, men, listen closely. Because this is where a lot of you get it completely wrong. Women are not the enemy. Modern women, traditional women, working women, stay at home women. None of them are the enemy. What is the enemy? Men with no standards. No boundaries. No backbone, no expectations of themselves. And they're shocked when their relationships fall apart. Fellas. Half the problems you blame on women wouldn't even exist if you weren't acting like a clearance rack version of yourself. Let me help you out. A woman is not difficult because she expects effort. She's not too much Because she wants consistency. She's not toxic because she doesn't want a partner who behaves like a thirteen year old Fortnite streamer. A lot of y'all are calling women crazy when what you really mean is. She expected things from me that I wasn't providing. And here's the part men don't want to hear. Women want masculine men. Not bullies, not tyrants, not alpha male podcasters in sunglasses. A man with direction, with purpose, with confidence. With a stable emotional core. But instead of becoming that man, a lot of dudes go with the easier option. They blame women. She's not feminine. She doesn't respect me. She's always mad at me. She won't let me lead. Hey, retard, you can't lead anyone if you can't lead yourself. Men want respect, but they don't live in a way that earns it. Men want peace, but they bring chaos. Men want affection, but they give inconsistency. Men want loyalty, but they're disloyal to their own goals. And women feel that they feel when a man is drifting, aimless, passive or disconnected, they feel when they have to carry everything emotionally, they feel when a man has no internal compass. When a man has no boundaries, the relationship has no structure. When a man has no standards, the relationship has no direction. When a man has no self respect, the relationship has no respect. Period. Let me say something else that's uncomfortable because this is where the truth gets sharp. Women will absolutely test you. Not because they're evil, not because they're manipulative, but because they need to know you are safe to follow. They need to know that you won't crumble under pressure. They need to know you stand by your word. They need to know you won't fold. The second life gets stressful. They need to know that you're not just a warm body, but a man with stability and accountability. And when a man fails those tests, women step up. They lead, they carry, they dominate. They take control. Not because they want to, but because somebody has to. and then the same men who refused to step up will turn around and say she's too masculine. No, retard. She adapted. She became what? You wouldn't. Let me also say this. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who knows who he is. A man who knows his values, his direction, his role, his expectations, his mission. A woman will melt and I mean melt for a man who brings stability and clarity. But when a man is out here simping for attention, begging for validation, agreeing to everything, avoiding every argument, letting disrespect slide. She's not thinking, oh wow, what a nice guy. She's thinking, damn, I have to do everything. Men need to stop blaming women for failing tests they weren't prepared to take. if you want a feminine woman, you have to be a masculine man. If you want respect, you must be respectable. If you want peace, you must create it. If you want loyalty, you must be loyal to your purpose. If you want softness, you must provide security. women aren't the enemy, but a man without standards, a man without direction. A man without self-discipline. That man becomes the enemy of his own household. Men, when you rise, your relationship Rises When you strengthen yourself, the partner strengthens. When you stand firm, your home becomes stable. When you lead with integrity, everyone around you thrives. This isn't about controlling women. This is about controlling yourself. This isn't about dominating your partner. This is about mastering your purpose. This isn't about being the boss. This is about being the foundation. You can't control her, but you can control who you become. And when you do that, the entire dynamic shifts. All right, let's talk about the epidemic. Nobody wants to admit is a real public health crisis. Simping chronic simping unmedicated simping terminal simping fella, some of y'all are out here acting like your only personality trait is wanting women to like you. It's embarrassing. It's painful to watch. It's like watching a squirrel trying to drag a watermelon. You're putting in all this effort and it still ain't going nowhere. Men have gotten so disconnected from real masculinity that they think being a good man means being a doormat in a nice shirt. You got retarded men who bend over backwards for women who don't even know their last name. Buy gifts for girls they've never even met. Respond to texts in zero point two seconds. Become personal therapist for women they're not even dating. They send long voice messages like they're submitting evidence in the court case, and they accept any behavior because I don't want to lose her. Hey, retard. You can't lose someone who was never yours. And Simping Simping is not kindness. Simping is emotional gambling with terrible odds. It's giving loyalty to someone who's never even applied for the job. Let me put it like this. You know why? Simply doesn't work. Because it comes from fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being chosen. Fear of not being enough. Women don't want fear. Women want strength. Confidence. Direction. Masculinity. Leadership. Presence. Not a personal assistant disguised as a boyfriend. Audition tape. You want to know the craziest thing. The men who simp the hardest are usually the least fulfilled in relationships. Why? Because Simping is not respect. It's self-abandonment. A real man does not abandon himself to gain approval from anyone. Now let's flip this. What does a man with standards look like? A man with standards communicates clearly. Says what he means, means what he says, respects himself. Set boundaries, show consistency, leads calmly, chooses intentionally, loves confidently, does not tolerate disrespect. A man keeps his purpose first. He's not rude. He's not controlling. He's not insecure. He's not aggressive. He's just centered, grounded, stable. and that energy is irresistible. Fellas, taking the lead doesn't mean dominating someone. It means knowing the direction of your own life. If you don't know where you're going, how is anyone supposed to follow you? Leadership isn't yelling. Leadership isn't ego. Leadership isn't pumping yourself up on social media with alpha male quotes in a black and white filter. Leadership is I know who I am. I know what I value, and I'm moving with intention. Women can feel that. They can smell confidence, like sharks smell blood. They can sense a man who has his life in order. The same way we can sense when a gas station hot dog is a bad idea. Real men don't chase validation. Real men attract respect by the way they carry themselves. Let me tell you something that blew my mind the first time I realized it. A woman respects a man who respects himself. That's it. That's the key. Not simping, not begging. Not overgiving. Not Overexplaining. Not trying to prove your worth. Your worth is proven by your presence, your consistency, your direction, your self-control. Stop Simping. Start leading. Stop begging for approval. Start building yourself. Stop being afraid to speak up. Start honoring your own voice. Stop chasing attention and start chasing purpose. Because when you become a man of value, a man of standards, a man of direction, authentic, confident, masculine, you won't have to chase anything. Everything appropriate will be drawn to you. So we talked about what men aren't. We talked about what society tries to turn men into. We've talked about what weak masculinity looks like and what Simping turns you into. Now let's talk about the real thing. Let's talk about what an actual man looks like. Because masculinity isn't about money. It's not about muscles. It's not about dominance. It's not about who yells the loudest or who lifts the heaviest. A real man is defined by his character, his consistency, his discipline, and the impact he has on the people he loves. Let's break it down into nine ways. One. A real man is emotionally grounded. Look, it's not that men don't feel things. Men feel deeply. But a man doesn't unravel every time. Life doesn't go his way. a real man controls his emotions instead of letting his emotions control him. He doesn't explode at every problem, but he also doesn't shut down and hide. He communicates calmly. He listens. He thinks before he reacts, and he shows his family what stability looks like even when he's under pressure. That's strength. Not the silent treatment, not rage. Emotional maturity. Two. A real man takes responsibility for everything. A man doesn't blame other people for his situation. He doesn't make excuses. He doesn't point fingers. If something is broken, he fixes it. If something is off, he addresses it. If he messes up, he owns it. Responsibility isn't a punishment. It's a privilege. It's what separates the boys from men. Three. A real man has purpose. A man with purpose walks differently, talks differently. Thinks differently. Makes decisions differently. you can feel when a man knows what he's building, what he stands for, what matters to him, where he's going. Purpose gives a man direction. Direction gives a man confidence. Confidence gives a man authority and authority. The good kind is what makes a man easy to trust and even easier to follow. Four. A real man protects. Not in a macho. I'll fight anyone in this parking lot way, but in a grounded, steady way. His presence feels safe. His family feels secure. People feel calmer when he walks into the room because they know nothing stupid is going to happen under his watch. Protection is spiritual. It's emotional. It's relational. It's physical. It's financial. a real man protects what matters by being prepared, steady and intentional. Five. A real man provides. And I don't just mean money. providing is about being a source of stability. A man provides security, structure, comfort, encouragement, wisdom, leadership, a safe space for his partner and kids. Money is only one form of provision. It's not the definition. a broke man with leadership is worth more than a rich man with none. Six. A real man has boundaries. A man without boundaries is a man without identity. He knows what he will accept and what he won't. He isn't scared to say no. He doesn't tolerate disrespect. He doesn't let chaos rule his home. A man with boundaries earns respect not because he demands it, but because he lives in a way that commands it. Seven. A real man loves strongly. Not clingy, not dramatic, not from insecurity. A real man loves through action. Loves through consistency. Love through protection, loves through loyalty. loves through sacrifice. Love isn't weakness. Love is masculine when it's done with strength. Women don't want a robot. They want a man who can love without losing himself. Eight. A real man leads himself before he leads others. This right here is the key. A real man has self-control. He has discipline. He has direction. He has routines. He has standards. How can you lead a family if you can't even lead your own life. Masculinity isn't about controlling others, it's about controlling yourself when you master you. Everything else follows. Nine. A real man is a rock for his family. A real man doesn't create chaos. He creates peace. He creates structure. He creates reliability. He creates consistency. Your wife shouldn't be scared of your emotions. Your kids shouldn't walk on eggshells. Your home shouldn't feel unstable. A real man doesn't make everyone else carry him emotionally. he is the one who steadies the ship. Not because he hides his emotions, but because he's learned how to carry them. And let me tell you something. When a man becomes a rock, his family blooms. His partner relaxes His kids grow stronger. The entire home becomes healthier. A real man doesn't have to prove he's a man. He just lives like one. And everyone around him can feel it. Look, if you're a man listening to this right now. I'm not here to shame you. I'm not here to beat you down. I'm not here to tell you you're not enough. I'm here to tell you something most men never hear. You matter. You are needed. And the world is better when you show up as the man you were meant to be. Your family needs you. Your partner needs you. Your kids need you. Your community needs you. Not the watered down version of you. Not the scared version of you. Not the passive version of you. Not the. I'm trying my best, but I'm not growing version of you. They need the real you, the man inside you that maybe you haven't met yet. The man you had glimpses of when you were younger. The man you always wanted to become. But life, fear, trauma and society pushed down. Men today are starving for someone to look at them and say, I believe in you. I respect you. You can do this. So let me say it. I believe in you. I respect you. You can do this. You can rebuild your life. You can become a better man. You can heal. You can lead. You can set standards. You can break cycles. You can raise strong kids. You can love with strength. You can be the stability your family leans on, you can be the man your younger self needed to be. And if you're a father, let me talk to you directly. Your kids aren't looking for perfection. They're looking for presence, for guidance, for consistency, for safety, for strength, for wisdom. If you have sons, your sons are learning how to be men by watching you. If you have daughters, your daughters are learning what to expect from men by watching you. Every decision you make, every time you stay calm, every time you show up, every time you listen, every time you lead, every time you apologize. Every time you protect, every time you keep your word. You're shaping generations. And if you grew up without a father, you have the chance to stop that cycle right now. You can be the blueprint you never had. You can be the first strong link in a brand new chain. You can build a family foundation you never got to stand on. It starts with you. Not tomorrow, not next year. Not when things settle down right now. Start small, start simple. Start with discipline. Start with honesty. Start with holding yourself accountable. You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be present, strong, consistent, and intentional. The world has enough passive men, enough broken men, enough confused men, enough men who gave up before they ever tried. We need men, real men, stable men, grounded men, masculine men, men of character, men of discipline, men of purpose, men who build instead of destroy. Men who protect instead of abandon. Men who rise instead of retreat. And if you're listening to this, that means you. You're meant for more. You were designed for strength, not fear, for leadership, not hiding, for honor, not avoidance. So step up, rise up. Become the man your family looks at and says. That's our rock. Become the man your kids brag about when you're not around. Become the man your partner feels safe with. Become the man you know you were always meant to be. Because masculinity isn't dying. It's just waiting for men to reclaim it. And if no one else has told you this today, Let me be the one. I am proud of you. I believe in you. And the world needs you at full strength. Now go drink some water, stretch your back, tighten your standards and stop simping. Doctor's orders. This has been out of place. I'm your host, Steven Daniel. Reminding all men out there. Being a man isn't toxic. Being a coward is. You got this. See you in the next episode. I love you, I appreciate you, and always remember to smile.

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Steven Daniel (Main Host)

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